Thursday, 25 September 2008


Chris and I talked about the possible options to clear my womb, and I did some reading on this messageboard.

I don't want to wait until I lose it naturally, and if I have an induced miscarriage there's still a 5% chance of needing a D&C afterwards, which isn't a good idea considering that we're flying to Australia in a week and a half.

I called the hospital today and booked in to have the D&C on Monday morning. I feel horrible about it. It's like I'm giving them permission to take my baby away.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

It's all gone wrong

We had the scan today. I was so scared, but I was trying to convince myself that I was worrying about nothing.
The sonographer looked really thoroughly, but couldn't find a baby. It looks like the baby stopped developing at about six weeks, before it even had a heartbeat. Everything else kept growing, which is why I was still having symptoms. I think that's what makes it worse - if only I could have miscarried at the point when it stopped, rather than giving me hope for four more weeks.

Tomorrow I need to phone the hospital to arrange for my D&C.

I can't stop crying.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

First Midwife Appointment

Well, last Thursday we went to see the midwife. She's very nice and competent and answered all our questions. She also took about half of my blood and got me to wee in a pot again.
She'd already got us our scan appointment made, although it's at St John's rather than the hospital we planned to use - they could give us an appointment two weeks earlier. We want to be reassured before we fly halfway round the world! Chris asked her a lot of things, to the point where he was worried that he was asking too much, but he was just checking the things that I would have done had I remembered...

I'm so scared. Every time that I hear of someone losing a baby I become sure that I'll lose mine too. I have to wait until the 23rd to know that it's all ok.