Monday 11 February 2008

On Schedule

I suppose things are going to plan so far. I bought nicotine replacements patches today, and I'm going to try one when I get in from work tomorrow. I got a bit freaked out by the idea of stopping smoking - I don't really know why. I think it might be because 1) I don't like change (although, surprisingly, thinking about actually having a baby doesn't, and that's a big change) and 2) it makes me feel kind of rebellious, even though I know that smoking doesn't make me like that anyway. I'm rationalising it to myself by thinking that I only have to stop smoking while I'm pregnant and breastfeeding, so if I really want to I can start again after that, not that I think I will.
I think I'll stop taking the Pill now. I'm having a period at the moment, so I might as well.
I need to start exercising too. I'm really not happy with my body, and the idea of never looking good in a bikini is very depressing, so I thought that if I lose weight and get toned up before getting pregnant there might be some chance of not looking too bad after. Anyway, all those models, actresses etc manage to look good after having a baby. I know that they have nannies and personal trainers, but I figure that I can still do something.

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